Meant to post this before spring break...

Blog post pre spring break

So all my trips are booked. I'm officially broke. I worry about not seeing enough Spain and too much Europe but how can you worry about that?

I remember sophomore year the summer in between freshmen and sophomore year there was just a lot going on and I was in a very uncomfortable place. I felt lost because I wasn't at school anymore and I just went back to working as a waitress and not seeing my best friends everyday or being in the PC evironment. It was a very lost time for me and I suffered from anxiety and blah blah blah. It was so weird. I got better and got happy with my self towards the end of sophomore year but really in the summer time when I focused my life, found an internship and starting seriously working towards some life goals including personal and career wise. It was a great summer and even greater semester. I was so lucky to have my amazing roommates and find a boyfriend I could really care about.

Then leaving for a foreign country uprooted me again. It's not that I feel as lost as I was at that time but there are overlapping feelings of being lost. This time it is less about the career goals (which is wierd since im staring senior year in the face) and more about the personal things. I know I sound pathetic when I say I was uprooted from the things I love the people that ground me because obviously people are in way worse situations in terms of uprooting. But. I am away from my family, best friends, PC, boyfriend. It's weird. Yes I can call them, Skype, text whatever but its very different than sharing an environment, day to day decisions, time zone with them.

There's that saying not all those who wonder are lost, sure I believe that but they are still wondering right?

I used to think I would visit every continent and experience every culture - a lot of people I've talked to have no interest in visiting the east because of the culture shock especially to white Americans - but I've always had it in my mind of "oh yeah ill totally go there someday".

Idk idk if its just growing up out of naivety or if its actually the opposite and letting the world bring you down into its pessimistic realism?

I think it's so important to travel and see these new cultures but its not always sunshine and rainbow. It's friggen hard. I guess distance, mountains, oceans were created for a reason. But as a global studies student in the year 2013 - is that not the most depressing thing I can think about?

Well I've always liked a challenge and as much as I sound bummed and realistic about world travel I'm not going to let the harsh realities pop my bubble on the first feeling I get when I step into a new country or that homelike feeling I get when I think about madrid.